I think the Esther play is done being proof-read, so if Mrs. J has to make any revisions I hope she does so very soon!  I NEED another acting job.  I'm getting kinda tense, lol!  I'll get to be in King Xerxes' harem, yay!  (I auditioned for that part because Mrs. J said that they are the only ones in the play that have really funny parts, and I LOVE to make people laugh.)  So I went from a pickpocketing thief in the last play to a whore in this one.  See a pattern in my roles?  Don't worry, I'm not like either of 'em.  The thief was SO much fun, though.  I got to sneak around the stage and pull gold chains out of peoples' bags and get all happy about my latest "catches" and then act all innocent when the rightful owners would turn around and almost catch me . . . oh, I loved it.  Can't wait for Esther to hit the stage!

I tried talking to Mom last night about my dream of becoming an actress.  No one understands that acting is my passion.  I want more than anything to act.  Mom pretty much came out and told me I can't do it.  Sure, it might be a hard job to get, but I also know somebody that applied himself, took acting classes, and is now in California with an agent and a pilot on a Nickelodean (I don't even know if I'm spelling that right) show.  Granted, Nickelodean isn't necessarily hitting the big times, but everyone starts somewhere.  Keanu Reeves' first "acting job" was in a Corn Flakes commercial, for crying out loud!!!  What's so wrong with wanting to be an actress?  If I don't get to be an actress, I told Mom that I'd love to be part of the movie crew in the art department, and she's like, "See, I could see you doing something like that."  Oh, but refuse to support me when I state what I'd REALLY like to do?  All she ever says to me whenever I tell her about the careers I'd like is, "Well, marry someone with deep pockets" like my career choices are all foolish.  So I don't want to be a nurse, like I had originally had my mind on for 3 or 4 years, and I don't want to be a teacher, which has been my mindset since 8th or 9th grade.  I want to act.  I want to write.  I want to make movies.  I've been wanting to do that BEFORE I said I wanted to be a nurse and BEFORE I said I wanted to be a teacher.  I've just never had the gumption to tell anyone because even some of my closest friends would tell me how stupid that was.  Mom pointed out that Mrs. J writes (books and plays) and acts, but she's also a professor.  The other jobs are "on the side."  She encouraged me to get a central job and have my acting and writing as side jobs.  I'm trying to think of a career I could have to be my core thing, but everything else seems so boring compared to acting.  I don't know.  We'll see how things progress.

Anyways, just wanted to vent about that.  It's really aggravating when you don't get support from people you'd expect it to come from.  I still think one of the greatest pleasures in life is accomplishing something no one says you can do.

Haven't written in my book for a LONG time.  I wrote some a little while back, but I'm like, "Eh, that's boring and cheesy."  I'll see if I can fix it tonight, after I finish up here and make some custard . . . mmm.  But I'm excited because I filled out my senior profile the other day.  That means graduation is getting closer and closer!!!  When I came to the future plans, I got torn up again, though, 'cause I wanted to put down, "Go to film school and become an actress" but I had to put "Study middle childhood education with an emphasis in American history."  So far that's what the future plans are, but I'd like to change that.  I REALLY felt like putting, "Whatever I feel like, GOSH!" in a Napolean Dynamite tone of voice, and my friend Sandy thought that was absolutely hysterical.  But I don't think everybody would have got that and lots of adults would have called me a brat or smart aleck for doing that.

Yesterday was the Spanish class field trip to El Rincón (Mexican restaurant).  I didn't go, even though I LOVE Mexican.  Everyone's like, "Why didn't you go?  You could have gotten out of school for a few hours."  My reply?  "It's not school that bothers me.  It's Mr. Podis!  I'd rather stay here and get away from him for a few hours than go there and be around him."  For those of you who don't know, Mr. Podis is the fata . . . um, weird Spanish teacher.  He's SUPER annoying when he's in a good mood, and REALLY mean when he's in a bad mood.  He's awful.  I was gonna go just to be nice, but I totally forgot (yes, honestly, completely 100% truthfully forgot) that morning that El Rincón was on the agenda for that day, so I didn't bring any money.  Mr. Podis came up to me this morning and he's like, "We missed you yesterday!"  I was like, "I . . . *wanted to say really didn't miss you guys at all* . . . forgot my wallet."  He's like, "Oh, we all would have pitched in for you!"  I said, "No, I don't want to have you guys paying extra on my account.  Glad you had fun, bye!"  I had even planned to tell the waiter that it was Mr. Podis' birthday (even though it wasn't) just so he would get the big birthday . . . excuse me, cumpleaños . . . sombrero and the free ice cream and a bunch of Mexicans dancing around him singing "Feliz Cumpleaños a Tú" at the top of their lungs.  That would have been fun, and Mr. Podis would have got a big kick out of it.

Okay, gotta go.  I gotta make that custard before I get too sleepy.

Peace, love, and happiness,

Marianne

I wish I had seen that play you were in; you sound very cute, and I'm a sucker for a cute female pickpocket! Whatever your aspirations are, don't ever let anyone alter them. People who say "you can't do that" are the ones who never take risks in their lives. I'd bet that acting is something you'd excel at; you seem to have a flair for the dramatic. Anyway, just a note to say that I enjoyed reading your journal. Sincerely yours from a reader who's pocket you could easily pick, Sean

*blushes uncontrollably* Thanks, Sean! Your comments mean a lot to me. I haven't maintained this site in pretty much forever . . . wow. Glad to see someone still pays attention to it!
Anyways, thanks for the comments and the kind words. It was nice to hear from you!
Peace, love, and happiness,
Marianne

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